It is no secret that dating apps can be a challenging experience for women. But a recent article highlights that some women now expect a male match to be in therapy, and questions why this trend has emerged.
A recent column from InsideHook starts by acknowledging that many women have faced abuse and inappropriate behaviour on dating apps. It then points out a new trend where increasingly more women are writing in their dating app profiles “please tell me you go to therapy”.
An article from The New York Times summarises the trend, explaining: “In some corners therapy has become a kind of social imperative, something anyone can urge strangers to engage in — not so they can explore their own experiences, but so their psychic toxicity can be contained before it spills onto others”.
While many people agree mental health is important, and talking to others is essential, some have suggested demanding others attend therapy is toxic itself. It assumes that everyone can access therapy and that the treatment will work for everyone.
While this debate rages on, the article highlights that “please go to therapy” can be translated into “please have your shit together”.
Female matches looking to see whether a potential match has his shit together can ask how he looks after himself, and if he’s not able to, how can he expect to take care of a partner, the article concludes.