Happn Study: First Dates Bring Heavy “Mental Load” On Users

A recent study conducted by the dating app happn among 1,206 French users reveals that the beginning of an in-person meeting can carry more than just anticipation – it can bring considerable mental pressure. According to the findings, 58% of respondents view the first date as a pivotal moment for the future of a relationship, with 48% admitting to feeling anxiety ahead of the meeting, 15% having postponed a date and 10% deciding to cancel one altogether.

The pressure appears particularly intense among younger women: 45% of 18- to 25-year-olds report feeling “intense stress” before a date, with one in two young women citing worry about how they will be perceived by their match. The study also flags the planning overload that many feel: 26% of Gen Z women say they meticulously organise every detail in advance, such as selecting clothes and planning conversation topics, which only makes the burden heavier.

happn’s communications director, Claire Rénier, observes that while apps like happn don’t usually see the stress directly, they can still see the way that it influences both the progression of a date/relationship and the potential enjoyment or pleasure a user actually gets out of it. The phenomenon echoes broader academic work on “mental load” (or cognitive labour) which describes the invisible mental effort involved in anticipating needs, making decisions and monitoring tasks.

While not something that’s directly the fault of the apps themselves, this kind of mental load could become a problem that still impacts them. Users with lower confidence or a tendency to over-worry about dates could prove harder to appeal to, given the intense mental load required for them to actually plan a date with a new person – something that apps may be able to provide support with through reliable date-planning tools or more direct forms of emotional support and reassurance.