Study: Men Feel Stereotyped and Insecure on Dating Apps
Cosmopolitan UK has published findings from a project involving conversations with 250 men about their experiences in today’s dating landscape. The research, conducted through street interviews in Leeds, one-on-one discussions, and an anonymous online survey, sought to capture men’s views on dating apps, ghosting, first dates, and overall satisfaction levels amid widespread reports of frustration from women who date men.
The inquiry highlights a complex picture. Many men expressed mixed feelings about dating apps, which remain a primary avenue for meeting people despite declining overall usage. According to Ofcom’s Online Nation 2025 report, around 5.3 million UK adults used online dating services, with men comprising the majority at approximately 68% (around 3.6 million users in May 2025, up from 3.2 million the previous year), while female users fell to about 1.7 million. Major platforms like Tinder and Bumble saw user drops between 2023 and 2025, reflecting broader fatigue.
Participants noted that apps can provide initial boosts through matches and exposure to diverse people, but prolonged use often leads to negative self-perception. Common complaints included the emphasis on appearance over personality, low match rates for “average” men, and feelings of inadequacy when receiving few responses or likes. Some described the process as draining, with superficial judgments fostering insecurity and a sense that only exceptionally attractive or high-earning men succeed.
The survey also touched on broader cultural divides. Men reported feeling stereotyped as primarily interested in casual encounters, emotionally unavailable, or inherently problematic, while acknowledging that negative behaviors from some contribute to these perceptions. References to manosphere ideas, like the “80/20 rule,” appeared among respondents, alongside concerns about perceived discrimination against men in equality efforts.
Conversations revealed challenges in transitioning to in-person meetings, including fear of appearing “creepy,” lack of third spaces for organic interactions, and difficulties in male-dominated hobbies. Suggestions for improvement emphasized reducing pressure, fostering emotional intelligence, and encouraging offline socializing to rebuild authentic connections.
