Young Adults Want Hard Data For Their Dates

A growing number of young adults are using spreadsheets and custom tracking tools to assess potential partners after dates, seeking structure in a process many find chaotic and exhausting. This includes finding ways to quantify parts of dating that otherwise would go overlooked, whether that’s simple things like compatability or very granular approaches to how they discover their dating preferences and refine their searches.

The practice involves logging details such as core values, conversation quality, shared interests and red flags into digital trackers. Users then analyze the data for patterns or compatibility scores. Advocates say the method helps counteract the tendency to overlook concerns after prolonged searching on dating apps.

Carolyn Travis, 27, described using a spreadsheet-style app called Spread after several dates with a man she met in an entrepreneurship course. Friends entered her values and details about the engineer, who was more than a decade older. The resulting assessment highlighted incompatibility, prompting her to end the relationship. She now tracks all her dating data with the tool.

“Talking with friends is one thing, but having that visual representation of what I want versus what I’m allowing is another,” Travis said.

Skyler Wang, an assistant sociology professor at McGill University who has studied self-datafication in dating, noted that such tools help people impose order on an unpredictable process. They also capture information gathered from actual meetings, which traditional matching algorithms cannot provide.

Not everyone views the approach positively. Former matchmaker Lily Womble cautioned that heavy reliance on data can lead people to minimize emotional responses in the moment. “Rigidity can actually be a shield against vulnerability,” she said.

Others embrace the structure. Peyton Knight, a 27-year-old brand strategist in Austin, created a spreadsheet that includes a “friends feedback” tab. She has sold the template for $9.99 to more than 10,000 people. The tracker helped her reconsider reaching out to a past date after reviewing notes about an uncomfortable interaction.

Many singles are using these spreadsheets alongside existing dating apps and matchmaking platforms, while others are putting their matchmaking entirely in the hands of their custom-made spreadsheet systems. Regardless, this could be a clear sign that many users are eager to have a more concrete way to track their matches, or at least quantify the things that they’re lokoing for in a partner – which is something that the dating industry would easily start to lean towards as a way of recapturing that audience.