Study: Gender Gap in How Users Communicate on Dating Apps

New research from polyamorous dating app Sister Wives suggests that women continue to shoulder a disproportionate share of emotional labour on dating apps, with measurable differences in how genders present themselves through language and punctuation. The findings are based on an analysis of 19,076 live dating profiles conducted in December 2025 and point to structural communication pressures that could contribute to burnout and misaligned expectations in online dating.

According to the data, women are significantly more likely than men to use expressive markers such as exclamation points and emojis in their profile bios. Women used exclamation points at more than twice the rate of men and were three times as likely to use multiple exclamation points. Emoji usage showed a similar gap. In contrast, men were more likely to use em dashes, a punctuation style sometimes associated with a more detached or automated tone, and were also more likely to rely on AI tools such as ChatGPT for dating advice.

The findings align with prior academic research cited by Sister Wives, including a 2025 study that found women risk being perceived as “cold and unfriendly” if they avoid expressive punctuation, while simultaneously being judged as “lower in analytical thinking” when they use it. This dynamic places women in what researchers describe as a communication double bind, where no choice fully avoids negative interpretation.

“Women are damned if they do, damned if they don’t,” said Christopher Alesich, relationship expert and CEO of Sister Wives. “If they use exclamation points, they risk seeming overly eager or less intelligent. If they don’t, they risk appearing cold or uninterested. Meanwhile, men are far less likely to be thinking about this.“

Sister Wives warns that this pressure to perform warmth and enthusiasm at all times can have downstream effects on dating experiences. Alesich noted that the constant need to project positivity can lead to fatigue, unrealistic expectations, and eventual disappointment once offline relationships progress beyond curated online personas.

“But interestingly, this exclamation point overuse can backfire on dating apps,” Alesich added. “This performed enthusiasm can make online dating look and feel like a performance rather than a space for genuine connection.”