Bumble Pens Open Letter to Disrespectful User

Bumble has kicked a male user off its platform after disrespectful messages were sent from his account.

The messages implied that one of his matches was overweight, and that she’d have to lose weight before he would consider pursuing her.

The male user claimed the messages were sent by his friends while intoxicated.

He said: “I had no control over those messages that were sent through my account and had I seen what was written, would absolutely have stopped them from being sent.

“That being said, it was an irresponsible position to put myself into and what we were doing was completely stupid and has resulted in a really sweet girl being disrespected by dumb actions.”

It is not the first time Bumble has decided to mediate discussions on its platform – in June, the Bumble team penned another response to a user who accused his match of only being after his money.

Their response noted as an addendum that: “Bumble was alerted to abuse and sent screenshots of said abuse by one of our users. Bumble did not violate user privacy and has taken blocking steps in congruence with Bumble Terms of Service.

Taking a censorious approach to discourtesy online has long been part of CEO Whitney Wolfe Herd’s ethos, however. She told The Guardian: “(…) free commentary on these platforms, that are built to allow people to express themselves, can have a negative implication.”

The full letter reads:

“Dear [User],

We got wind today that you criticized one of our users for her appearance. Apparently, you thought you knew best about how she should look. Once you were done offering advice on self-development, you decided to hop up on your high horse and assume following all of this – she’d still want to hang out (once she’d put the effort into ‘looking tip top’).

Who taught you how to talk like that? Do you think that the security of a hiding behind a screen gives you permission to degrade people you don’t know? In fairness, maybe you didn’t know, but we hold people accountable for their actions. We care tremendously about our community and our users well being. Harassment and misogyny don’t belong on Bumble – and therefore neither do you.

Listen, you’ve caught us in a moment where we are particularly triggered by harassment and are ready to stop it dead in its tracks. You see, you attacked someone that belongs to our community and in doing so you attacked more than just one woman – you ultimately attacked our values and philosophy as a community. Whatever it is that motivates you to act this way, we encourage you to rewire your thinking, quickly.

You claim your friends hijacked your account, and if that is the case you should immediately disassociate from your friend group. Here’s a tip … it’s the 21st century. Small minded, sexist, shallow people aren’t welcome in a progressive society anymore, and in the end, only you will lose out.

Times are changing, women are speaking up for themselves – and people are no longer going to be getting away with this sort of behaviour. Things are getting better, our world is gaining harmony, and you will miss out on all of the incredible beauty that equality has to offer. We’re not here to hate you or to blame men for your immature actions, but we do want to help you to understand how irrevocably outdated and unacceptable your behaviour is.

And while we are at it, we’d like to give a shout out to all of the stand up, good men on our Bumble and in our lives. To those good men: thank you for setting an example, thank you for being decent, thank you for treating the people of our community with respect and kindness. You, along with all of the wonderful people in the world who share the same beliefs, are our motivation to keep working.

Because of you, we know there’s hope for equality. Because of you, Bumble is a platform to practice compassionate behaviour. Unfortunately, sometimes, we have to kick a wasp out of the beehive. In no way is this one person’s actions a reflection of you and your standards.To the brave woman that brought this to our attention, we are so proud of how you’ve stood up for yourself. We know you didn’t want this attention and we hope that this is a reminder to all women and men that no one should encounter this sort of degradation, and if you do – we encourage you to let us know. We have your back.

Goodbye forever, [user]. You’re officially banned from Bumble. If you begin a journey to self-discovery, we recommend beginning by finding new friends and a new outlook on life.

See you never,


Read it here.