A nationwide study has revealed four common dating “monsters” that haunt Singaporeans as they look for love online. In response, Bumble has created a guide to help singles avoid these unhealthy dating behaviors and date fearlessly.
So what are these commonly found dating “monsters”?
Ghosts: Masters of the Disappearing Act
Ghosts represent the unhealthy dating behaviour of simply disappearing without a trace, inevitably leaving people confused and hurt. Bumble shares that 45% of Singaporean singles said that they have been ghosted, or ghosted someone, in the past year.
Bumble shares that ghosting goes against its philosophy of kind connections. This is highlighted by its updated Community Guidelines which take action against flakes and no-shows, marking the behaviour as abusive conduct and bullying.
Zombies: The Return of the Past
Zombies are those people who unexpectedly wander back into your life, causing confusion and mixed emotions. A fifth of respondents experienced being ‘zombied’ in the past year.
Bumble’s research found that the common reasons that people suddenly re-enter a situation, is due to their schedule freeing up, avoiding awkward break up conversations, and keeping their options open.
44% of Singaporean singles say they are unlikely to give Zombies a second chance to reconnect.
Energy Vampires: The Emotional Drainers
Instead of sucking blood, Energy Vampires drain their victim’s emotional energy. They can do this by constantly demanding attention and care, which leaves their partner’s exhausted.
Bumble’s research reveals that 1 in 5 Singaporean singles admit that they have been Energy Vampires themselves. The common negative relationship experiences were lack of accountability, problem ignorance, frequent criticisms and frequent involvement in drama.
Research found that Gen Z are the best equipped to deal with Energy Vampires, as they tend to dislike drama and remove themselves from those situations quickly, as compared to other age groups.
Green-Eyed Monsters: The Overly Jealous
These monsters are jealous and envious, sparked by perceived threats or insecurities. Half of respondents said that they feel jealous when they see their partner flirting with others, causing them to lose trust.
56% say they would opt for open communication with their partner to handle feelings of jealousy, while 40% would also seek reassurance. But when the jealousy gets too much, 28% said they would consider leaving a relationship.
But how do we avoid these monsters?
To help Singaporean singles avoid these scary dating “monsters”, Bumble shares 5 important tips:
- “Take Your Time: Take your time with figuring out what you want and get to know someone first before fully committing to them as rushing into a relationship can make you more vulnerable to dating monsters.”
- “Communication is Key: Establish clear and consistent communication. If your match begins to ghost you, politely express your concerns and ask for clarity. Setting expectations for communication from the start can also help prevent ghosting. Bumble discourages no-show behaviour and if you have had a bad experience on a date, you can report the other party via the app.”
- “Set Healthy Boundaries: If someone you’ve previously dated reappears and you are not interested, kindly but firmly express your feelings and set boundaries to prevent them from returning. Do not be afraid to express your feelings and boundaries as honest communication is the foundation of a healthy partnership.”
- “Use Interest Badges and Profile Prompts: On Bumble, you can leverage Interest Badges to find like-minded individuals and use Profile Prompts to showcase your personality. This helps attract compatible matches and repel dating monsters who don’t align with your interests and values.”
- “Trust Your Instincts: Listen to your gut feelings. If something does not feel right in a dating situation, do not be afraid to exit it. Your instincts can be a powerful tool in avoiding dating monsters and finding genuine connections.”
Lucille McCart, APAC Communications Director at Bumble said: “This spooky season, we want our community to enjoy the ultimate treat, which is fear-free dating. At Bumble, we believe that authentic connections are rooted in kindness and respect, and we want to create a space where everyone can be their true selves”.
“While it is not likely that we can completely avoid these monsters in life, we can actively choose to pursue the connections that are kind, respectful and right for us. If you are struggling to move on from any of these monsters who may have entered your life, just proceed with the knowledge that they aren’t your best match, and there are lots of other people on Bumble who would love to get to know you!”, McCart continued.
For singles who are tired of dealing with unhealthy behaviours, Bumble suggests visiting their Safety and Wellbeing Centre, which contains advice on how to deal with abuse or catfishing; safety advice for IRL dates; mental exhaustion, including how to deal with anxiety and dating app burnout; and overcoming feelings of rejection, including dealing with experiences like ghosting.