OkCupid Study Finds That Women Still Do Not Send The First Message


Most OkCupid users adhere to the traditional dating behaviours of men and women, according to a new study by the dating site.

The company has just published the findings of its latest survey, which looks at the difference in behaviour between genders when it comes to making the first move with someone you connect with online.

It found that 43% of women would prefer to split the bill on a first date, compared to the 17% of men who would opt to share the cost.

However, 62% of men would still rather pay the entire bill, with less than 5% preferring to have their date cover the payment.

OkCupid also found that women generally still don’t take the lead when it comes to initiating a conversation online.

The study revealed that women of all sexual orientations shy away from sending the first message, with straight women almost four times less likely to, when compared to straight men.

To find out the cause of a woman’s tendency to not send the first message online, OkCupid looked at how the quantity of messages affected a female’s response to an online match.

It is fairly common knowledge that many female online daters are frequently inundated with messages from their hopeful male counterparts, all looking to start a conversation.

Yet, surprisingly, the number of messages received does not affect how many messages women send.

Commenting on this finding, OkCupid said: “Even if a woman receives zero, 10 or 20 messages, she’s not likely to send more.

“On the contrary, men initiate no matter what, and the more messages they receive, the more they send.”

However, it also found that if a woman does send the first message, the likelihood of it turning into a conversation rises greatly.

According to the site, women are 2.5 times more likely to get a response than men if they send the first message – with 31% of messages sent by bisexual woman turning into a conversation.

OkCupid also confirmed that age does not change the messaging rates of women, but men tend to message most between the ages of 20 and 40.

The study also addressed the correlation between an individual’s “attractiveness” and the number of messages they send out.

It found that no matter how attractive a woman appears online, their messaging patterns do not change.

But for men, those that are most attractive send the most messages, with the top 40% messaging the most.

However, OkCupid found that straight women will talk more with the most attractive men if they initiate the conversation.

The site said: “Based on what we know, if you’re a woman and receive a message, the man who sent it is about 5 percentile points ​less attractive​ than you.

“But if you send the first hello, the man is about 7 percentile points ​more attractive​ than you. So if you typically wait to be approached, you could elevate your game by about 12 percent points just by sending the first message.”

Find out more about the study here.

Danielle White

Danielle is a Junior Reporter at Global Dating Insights. Originally from Reading, she has studied Multimedia Journalism at Bournemouth University and has a passion for writing and reporting. She enjoys travelling and likes to spend her free time socialising with friends and attending music events.

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