Study: College Dating Norms Remain Stable Despite New Tech

A new study has found that college students’ understanding of how romantic relationships unfold has changed little over the past decade, even as dating apps and digital communication tools have transformed the dating landscape. Published in Personal Relationships, the research – led by Brian Ogolsky at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign – examined how students described typical stages of romantic relationships in 2012 and again in 2022.

Using open-ended surveys, researchers gathered responses from students at the same Midwestern university ten years apart. Despite major cultural and technological changes, students across both samples consistently identified a similar sequence of four stages: Flirtationship, Relationship Potential, In a Relationship, and Commitment or Bust.

While digital tools like texting and social media were occasionally mentioned, they were not central to students’ descriptions. “The stability over time was surprising, as was the infrequency of mentions of technology,” Ogolsky noted. Instead, both groups emphasized interpersonal dynamics: getting to know someone, deepening emotional bonds, and navigating exclusivity.

Still, the study revealed subtle shifts. Students in 2022 described more stages on average and were more likely to reference cohabitation, ambiguity about long-term outcomes, and direct conversations about defining the relationship. The idea of marriage appeared less frequently, with more emphasis on integrating partners into broader social networks rather than traditional family introductions.

The findings challenge narratives suggesting that dating apps have dramatically altered how young people conceptualize relationships. Instead, the core structure of dating – flirtation, growing intimacy, exclusivity, and eventual commitment or separation – has proven remarkably durable. If this applies on a wider scale, then it may mean that dating apps have only modified the dating structure that already exists within college environments, not replaced it entirely – despite the occasional claims that dating is “broken” for younger people thanks to dating app prevalence.