Survey: Singles Measure Matches Against Idealised Expectations

For many people entering a new relationship, the perceived competition is an ex-partner. However, findings from a number of recent surveys suggest that the bigger challenge may be an imagined version of a “perfect” partner.

Notably, a study published The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that having more options on dating apps can actually increase users’ motivation to pursue a relationship with a chosen match, meaning that choice overload is far less of an issue than expected. However, a recent QuackQuack survey, conducted among 11,738 daters aged 22 to 35 across Indian cities, found that many singles measure potential partners against an internal set of expectations around compatibility, communication, success, emotional availability and behaviour.

According to QuackQuack founder and CEO Ravi Mittal, difficult past relationships can make daters more specific about what they want, while other recent studies, such as Relationshopping, are making it clear that singles tend to evaluate partners like they’re in a marketplace. While clear standards can help people identify suitable matches, expectations can become unrealistic when they require a prospective partner to consistently meet an idealised emotional template.

The QuackQuack survey found that 36% of respondents aged 22 to 30 expected an ideal partner to always make time for them, avoid disagreements and be comfortable opening up immediately. Meanwhile, four in 10 Tier 1 respondents said they had rejected matches for not fitting their emotional expectations and later regretted the decision.

Past relationship experiences also appeared to influence these expectations. Among respondents who had experienced communication problems, 18% said they now wanted immediate transparency, while 21% of those who had separated over trust issues said they would not date someone unwilling to share their movements. Seven in 10 daters aged 30 to 35 who had experienced neglect in a previous relationship described constant reassurance as a key feature of their ideal partner.

More than 39% of respondents across city tiers felt that an idealised partner could make real dating experiences seem underwhelming. Exposure to films, social media and curated online content may contribute to these expectations, according to respondents. Having standards can help people make informed choices, but treating an ideal partner as a fixed benchmark can make real-world compatibility harder to recognise.

This may be more of a user-focused issue than one that’s solvable by dating platforms, but this may be another contributor to why many users are pushing for authentic dating practices and IRL meetings that are facilitated by dating platforms.