The Experiences of an Asexual on Dating Apps

Caroline Cull, who describes herself as an asexual, shares her experience on dating apps. She describes the experience of dating online, while experiencing little to no sexual attraction, as “absolute nightmare fuel”.

In an article for Paste Magazine, she explains that she often has to explain asexuality to people she meets on dating apps, and faces a “hyper-sexualized hookup culture” on certain platforms.

Despite clearly stating she is an asexual in profile bio, she still ends up matching with people, who end up unmatching with her once they understand what asexuality is. Within the apps that serve LGBTQIA+ people, Cull recounts experiences of aphobia, where she was not considered part of the community. 

She suggests some steps that can be taken by dating apps. Firstly, they can provide more filters to help the search for romance, the search for sex, with an understanding of how they differ. 

Secondly, she would like an app that filters out people that don’t align with her wants, and that moderates its users better. 

She highlights the app HER as a positive example. Cull highlights that the platform makes an effort to include minority groups, such as asexuals. The platform hosts specific speeding dating events for the community, she explains.

Cull ends the article by saying “Setting boundaries would be easier knowing the person you’re interested in couldn’t be bothered with sex just as much as you aren’t. I’m honestly one annoying or awkward encounter on Tinder away from figuring out how to create my own dating app”.